Once Jason and I felt that we were being called to adopt, for us it was an easy decision. Because really, we didn’t feel like there was a decision at all. If any of you know me personally you know that I am a researcher, I never stop moving and never stop thinking. So from that moment on I have thought through every detail I can come up with.
First things first, our lives were dramatically going to change in every way, we had to tell Tyler. We are so fortunate to have such a wonderful mini man around here but we were a bit nervous about sharing the news. We didn’t really know how to break it to him. It took us about 3 weeks to decide that ‘today’ had to be the day.
We enjoyed dinner conversation about his girl crush and things at school. He joked around like usual and of course, asked about our days too. I don’t know many 10 year olds out there that really, truly care about others like he does. Anyway, Jason was supposed to bring it up and just couldn’t find the Segway.
After dinner was piano practice, I sat and helped him and he felt satisfied with himself and his progress. So I said “Tyler, we need to talk to you”. Those dreaded words that no kid wants to hear. He politely turned around to face us and I just blurted out. “Tyler, we have decided that we are going to adopt a baby, we don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl, we don’t know what color skin it will have. But we have a lot of love to share and we are going add another member to your family. This is a long process and it won’t be fast, but our lives will be changing.”
He looked at us with this look of do I smile or cry? He took some time to process and asked some questions such as ‘Where will it sleep?’. ‘What if it doesn’t like the food we eat?’ (If you know our Tyler, you know he has a very developed palette.) ‘What if it wakes me up in the middle of the night?’ ‘When I go to mom’s will it come with me or stay here?’ All cute, and good questions. Over time he says things like ‘I know I am good with kids but I don’t know if I want a sibling’ and ‘I’ll help feed it and stuff but I am NOT changing its diaper’. Again, good thoughts and over time, we are confident that we will love and support this baby entirely and so whole heartedly just like he handles everything else in his life.
The biggest goal for us is to continue to give Tyler the attention he deserves. To make him understand that he still gets to go to camp, take piano lessons and guitar lessons. That he can try sports and we will be there supporting him whether he has a sibling or not. Yes our lives will be changing, but no, nothing that is changing will take away from what he does and achieves and the rewards he gets for doing so.