Typically when writing about something like adoption people may think that a positive test means we are having a baby. But in 2020, a positive test has taken on a whole new meaning. Unfortunately, Monday Jason started to feel not so great and was advised to get a COVID test. A test that would soon come back positive and crush even more holiday spirit.
We have been so entirely careful through this whole pandemic, taking more precautions than most around us, but clearly this was not enough. And we are not the first family to feel this pain and confusion. Nobody any of us know or have had contact with have notified us they were sick, we wear masks, we don’t go out more than we have to, we wash and sanitize religiously and we don’t see friends. This was not enough to protect our family.
I am not going to lie, Monday was a complete whirlwind. A day that was supposed to be the last day of work for Jason before the week off, the day we got Tyler to spend our first whole week of Christmas together, the first day I was off work at the barn, the day we were supposed to start to really feel like it was Christmas. I had finally filled out almost all the paperwork for our home study and our adoption contract which we hoped to send in this week. But God had other plans for our family this week. We were scared, terrified really, Jason of course doesn’t want to get us sick, we don’t want to get sick either. I want to provide the best care I can for Jason without putting myself or Tyler at risk. This getting a positive test is scary for so many reasons. Our family is taking every precaution possible while still remaining under the same roof. We are physically separated, no food is produced without washing of hands and surfaces before, wearing a mask, serving, washing again, eating, washing again… We are not able to do many of the things we had hoped to do together this week, but we are here, supporting each other and praying. Hard.
So far symptoms have been relatively mild. It started with extreme fatigue and a fever, this progressed into the addition of body aches and overall discomfort. Fortunately the fatigue lessened and the fever broke but a headache joined. Now, four days in the fatigue is still there but minor, the body aches are there but minor and the headache seems to be gone. We pray every day that the worst of this is behind us, but the fear that we live with that it could get worse, or that Tyler or I could become sick is scary. It seems that no matter how much you read you learn that truly nobody knows. From our understanding Jason can retest on Monday, Tyler and I will get tested over the weekend. But the fear isn’t gone, even after two weeks after Jason has a negative test, the fear isn’t over. Tyler or I could carry the virus and not become symptomatic for fourteen days, or any of us could pick it up in the future. Nonetheless, our family is so thankful for the health and safety we have had this year. We are thankful for the support groups we have and the progress we have made.
If you have not had a positive test in your house, be thankful. Our family is tight, we love spending time together and let me tell you this is an incredibly lonely thing to go through. Though we are here and communicating and under the same roof, it doesn’t feel like we are together. We have constant fear of the future but we are relying on each other to stay positive and get through this. Please, if you know anyone that is sick, check on them, offer to pick up groceries or flowers. Call just to check in. We are so lucky to have a network that has cared for us and communicates with us all day every day. I cannot imagine how isolating it would feel without the outside support we are receiving.
We are so blessed, we are excited for our future, and we want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. Please do not forget what Christmas is about, its often lost in all of the fury. Maybe this year, God is trying to tell us all to slow down. To remember the reason. To take the time to enjoy what we have, who we have and what we are doing here!
Our family is excited to have the first payment ready for our adoption journey, once we are passed this positive test our Home Study will be scheduled. In the first days of 2021 we will have taken our first giant leap towards bringing a baby into our home. If you are able please consider continuing to support our cause. If you are not able to financially contribute please share our story.
Check out our GoFundMe Page here: http://gf.me/u/yyi3v4
Check out our Etsy store where all proceeds support our cause here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/WestwardCompany?ref=seller-platform-mcnav